True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
