Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
so much tequila, so little girl.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
