just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
