1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
