There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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