I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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