dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
