Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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