she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
