So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize