is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
