Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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