she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
