I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
