oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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