I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize