Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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