doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
