yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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