I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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