DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
