How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
