She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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