dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
