She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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