If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
