the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
