Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize