Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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