I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
