we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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