I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
