Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize