bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Randomize
