Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
