That's intense
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
