he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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