The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
