Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
