HIV tests are more positive than that guy
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
