just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
