Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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