Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
