So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
