You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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