butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
false alarm, still single
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize