You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My cat gives me a boner
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
