NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
