I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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