He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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