i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
