So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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