Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
