It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
