I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
