STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
