kristin has been a bad kristin
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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