1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
