Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
