Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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