and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have feelings that need drinking.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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